Lonely Heart's Day

Today's the 6th day of training in my new work. By the way, I luckily landed on a techie job after my first attempt to apply. Plain and simple luck-being at the right place at the right time. Honestly, I am not a techie person--not to be humble or whatsoever--I can just understand the PC by playing with it and ending up breaking it at one point or another. I know the basics but not the exact terms that the people in Microsoft might know about. Hopefully, I'll know some of the techie terms at heart after staying with this company for a year or more, depending on how I'll perform. Pressure...pressure.

To those who are busy and not aware of what this day is, Happy Heart's Day! Hope you had a fun-filled day...

Well, mine's not that bad and not good either. I had a glimpse of my crush, let's call him Blue (he's always wearing long sleeves with different shades of blue-my fave color). I just knew his name earlier during training. He's one of the top trainees, not surprising though, because I always fall for the smart guys. I don't know why...it must be some kind of syndrome. He was the person I looked at during my speech about the "famous personality" so his face sort of stuck to my head. He was nodding like he understood every word I said so that must be it. Or I'm a total freak. Just choose one. ;p

Anyway, I was surprised when I saw him in the MRT station. He was standing in front of me, waiting in line to get the card, and I got tongue-tied right then and there. So much for being the confident girl in class. I tried to convince myself and ask him where he was headed. Unfortunately, he got his turn to buy the card. Talk about missing one hell of an opportunity to talk to him in person instead of smiling every now and then when we bump into each other in the hall on the way to the coffee machine. Sigh.

I can only remember one thing on my way home. He smelled like he just took a bath and he's on his way to work rather than going home. I must've smelled like trash after smoking and then passing his way to get the card. So much for impression. Another sigh.

I was staring at his back, walking towards the other station which goes north. I'm headed south, to the other end of the earth. It's a sign. It wasn't meant to be a happy ending. He must be a married guy or something. He seems like a guy who'll go home and greet his kids with a hug. Darn, I didn't check for a ring on his hands earlier while I was behind him. Oh well.

I hate myself for not taking the chance to talk to him. I never thought it would be so difficult to say HI. He must think I'm a snob for not even acknowledging his presence.

I was left there standing like an idiot, waiting for dear MRT. I just realized it's the same as my love life. Non-existent. I must be the girl who will always wait for the right guy to come along and will be left with no one.

If this is my fate, I must've done a very bad thing in my past life to deserve this.